Cambridge Ielts Writing Task 1 Australian Household Energy Use
The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons when relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of energy consumed in an average household and that of exhaust emissions released from the energy consumption in Australia respectively in the first and another / the other picture.
Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that heating purpose registers the lowest energy consumption in Australia. Similarly, the smallest toxic exhaust fumes are recorded for cooling.
In Australian households, the heating part constitutes the majority of energy consumption at 42 percent while greenhouse gas emissions from heating only make up at 15 percent. A similar opposite pattern can be seen in refrigeration, lighting and other appliances purpose and exhaust emissions created from these activities which account for 7, 4,15 percent and 14, 8, 28 percent respectively.
Such significant discrepancies across energy using and toxic exhaust fumes resulting from the rest of the activities are not seen. In particular, the amount of energy used for water heating and cooling constitutes 30 and 2 percent which rather identical to the figures for the greenhouse gas emissions from these purposes at 32 and 3 percent respectively.
Sample essay:
The two pie charts compare the energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions of six different types of appliances in a typical Australian household. These types are heating, water heating, cooling, lighting, refrigeration and "other appliances".
Overall, two types, heating and water heating, consume nearly three-quarters of the total energy, and they also account for half of the total emissions. Cooling uses the smallest amount of energy, and gives off the fewest emissions.
Even though it is the largest single user of energy, heating emits proportionately much less greenhouse gasses than any of the other types. Its emissions are 15% of the total whereas it consumes 42% of the energy, about a 1:3 ratio. The worst are refrigeration and lighting. They are responsible for 14% and 8% respectively for these emissions compared to just 7% and 4% of the energy usage, a 2:1 ratio. The group of other appliances is marginally better, with 15% of the energy usage and 28% of the greenhouse gas emissions. Water heating, which is second after heating in usage at 30%, causes 32% of the emissions, or approximately a 1:1 ratio
You have some good points, but the English is not very good, especially the vocabulary.
The pie charts ( How many?) illustrate (Wrong word. We do not illustrate percentages.) the percentage of energy consumed in an average household and that of exhaust emissions (You have to write "greenhouse gasses") released from the energy consumption in Australia respectively in the first and another / the other picture. (They are not pictures, but charts. Also, you did not mention the sectors on the pie charts - neither how many, nor their names.)
Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that (The examiner knows you are looking at the figure. Also "obvious" is an opinion word. Delete all these words Just write the "main features.") heating purpose (wrong word) registers the lowest energy consumption in Australia. (That does not make sense. It is not accurate, either. ) . Similarly, the smallest toxic exhaust fumes are recorded for cooling.
In Australian households, (Do not repeat information you put in the first paragraph.) the heating part constitutes the majority (Majority is more than 50%.) of energy consumption at 42 percent while greenhouse gas emissions from heating only make up at 15 percent. A similar opposite pattern can be seen in refrigeration, lighting and other appliances purpose (An appliance is not a purpose.) and exhaust emissions created from these activities (An appliance is not an activity.) which account for 7, 4,15 (This appears as three numbers, 7 and 4 and 15.) percent and 14, 8, 28 percent respectively.
Such significant discrepancies across energy using and toxic exhaust fumes resulting from the rest of the activities are not seen. In particular, the amount of energy used for water heating and cooling constitutes 30 and 2 percent which rather identical to the figures (wrong word) for the greenhouse gas emissions from them these purposes at 32 and 3 percent respectively.
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Cambridge Ielts Writing Task 1 Australian Household Energy Use
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